Vol. 1

by Sad Bastard Music

supported by
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    FREE DOWNLOAD! Just enter $0 and the whole album is yours.
    Of course, any donations are appreciated, and will continue to allow me to produce and release future music.

      name your price




"Happiness is a sad song." - Charles M. Schulz

"The love-lorn nightingale nightly to thee her sad song mourneth well." - John Milton

"Nobody wants to experience sad events but people like to listen to sad songs. That's the beauty of music." - Hiromi

"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something." - Richard Thompson

These songs are not meant to be good, just honest. They're cheesy little sad pop ditties, accumulated over the last 18 years, dealing with heartbreak, divorce, depression, and all the other fun emotions that come from life. As Peejmudd, I've been hiding behind instrumental music for the last several years, and while I realize my voice isn't the strongest (and can barely handle the track "Haunted Heartaches"), these are all extremely personal songs that I didn't want to try and sell or have someone else sing. These songs are the real me.


released February 24, 2017

all songs written and performed by Philip Patton except:

Haunted Heartaches: Live Drums - Nicolas Bonneyrat, from Paris, France

Recorded and Mixed at Pichikin Recordings
Mastering by eMastered



all rights reserved


Sad Bastard Music Chico, California

Sad Bastard Music is the singer-songwriter output of Philip Patton (peejmudd / The Half Pints), combining slower tempo piano ballads with slight electronic beats behind them.

... more

contact / help

Contact Sad Bastard Music

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Fading to Obscurity
I'm sick of all this heat
I swear that I'm moving on
but after every night
comes a new bright shining dawn

I swear I didn't mean
to leave you in the dark
but this is where the real me
and my dreams, just have to depart

and I'd asked you to understand
you said that you'd try
I thought that you meant it
when we said goodbye

These nights I'm spending all alone
or at least that's how it seems
it's getting hard to tell the difference between
the real life and my dreams

but I swear I'm moving on
I'm going North
to where it's cold and it rains
and no one knows my name
no one knows my name

and if that sounds inviting
then come on up with me
and do the same thing
let's fade away
let's fade away
Track Name: Did You See
For too long
you didn't see me there with you
I was there
I was always there behind you
lifting up, being stronger than
I should have been
now I know, you didn't need me

Will it show
when I lift myself
and hold my head up high
I am stronger now
and I'm never going back that way
and I know
you can't take that
you can't help yourself
you are jealous to the core
I know, I know

did you see
when the world fell down around us
you gave up, I believed
but it wasn't quite enough
for both of our mistakes
so we fought and we talked
and we fell down anyway
but that's life
and it sucks

did you see me
when I held my head up high
I was stronger than I've ever been before
did you care
did you see
you never thought I'd be that brave
so you ran
I know, I know

while you running I was stronger than I've ever been

now I know
this is me
I can lift myself
and hold my head up high
I am stronger now
and I'm always going to be this brave
I don't care
what the world thinks
I am never going to be afraid again
I know, I know

you were running just as fast as you could away from me
I know, you let go
I'm sorry
Track Name: Always Get the Rain
Lately it seems that I’ve failed myself
Nothing ever goes the way I plan.
Too late, I missed the rainbow,
Ain’t it funny how I always get the rain.
Going out sure ain’t gonna help my problems
But sometimes, it sure is fun to dream

Sitting alone I think these things
And I wonder if i’ll miss them when they’re gone

Another day, another damn expression for the books
“I may have lost, but I’ll be back someday”
Everything is swirling round, this great big fucking world
But in the end, shouldn’t it blow my way
The lights are out inside, and the door is bolted shut
There’s no invitation to come in
Too late, I missed the rainbow,
Ain’t it funny how I always get the rain

Something deep inside keeps trying to warn me
Once I see the sun, I won’t feel bad again

Chalk it up to bad childhood experiences
The kind you try to forget you ever had.
Take a step back, and look at them again
In the light of day, they’re really not that bad.

Too late, I missed the rainbow,
Ain’t it funny how I always get the rain
Too late, I missed the rainbow
Ain’t it funny how I always get the rain

Too late, I missed the rainbow,
Ain’t it funny how I always get the rain
Track Name: Haunted Heartaches
You can’t remember when you lost your smile
It’s been so long you’ve been down
And you’re trying to find a happier time
But the circus won’t come back to town
And the haunted heartaches remembered
Are lingering stagnant around
And that cold empty whole
That you’re feeling inside
Is sometimes your favorite sound

Well you’re trying to get out from the weather
Cuz the dampness is turning you blue
But the rain has your name tattooed on its arm
In a heart with an arrow torn through
And the ghost of a lover forgotten
Is etched in the back of your dreams
And the song that she weeps
As she rocks you to sleep
Is one of your favorite things

Someday the darks clouds won’t cover the sun
Someday your heart can run free
Someday the race to that heavenly place,
Will end when we finally see.
That a chorus of angels with torn wings
Still can’t remember the words,
But the tune they all know,
So they give it a go
And it signals the end of the world.
Track Name: Larry
It’s 2 o’ clock in the morning,
And I’m getting drunk again,
Sometimes, there’s just nothing left to do.
Larry sits beside me,
And he doesn’t say a word
But I know he knows a way to make it thru.

It’s too quiet for a Thursday
The air is hanging thick
I’m waiting for something else to go wrong
It’s not bad company
Just the loneliness inside
That make these conversations seem so long

Talking back and forth about
The memories we share
Reminiscing eases pain
But it’s just so hard to bear.

A fog is lifted from my eyes
And I find myself alone,
Maybe I have been this whole night.
I’ve been baptized in self reflection
(And a bottle of 151)
But somehow I know it’ll be alright

Talking back and forth about
the memories we share
Reminiscing eases pain
But it’s just so hard to bear.

Talking back and forth about
the memories we share
Reminiscing eases pain
But it’s just so hard to bear.
I’ll be fine tomorrow,
If I can make it thru tonight.
With Larry here beside me,
I know everything’s alright

And Larry is the ghost,
Who’s followed me around all these years
But tonight, he’s my best friend.
Track Name: Let Me Go (first take)
The markets down on Main street
Have all closed up their shops
And I don’t know where we’re walking to tonight

If I held your hand, and held you close
Would you let me give you a kiss
But I know the answer every time we’re close

If I asked you to hold my hand
If I asked you to stand beside me
If I asked you whatever you were thinking at all
Would you ever tell the truth
I know you wouldn’t

The rain doesn’t come down
Like it should anymore
I wish sometimes this street would flood,
And wash the people away
And in my dreams, you are all I see
And that’s not good enough for me

If I asked you to hold my hand
And if I asked you to write our names in the sand.
Would you still let me go
I think you would
Would you still let me go,
I think you would.

If I asked you to hold my hand...